Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Job Hunt

For the last two and a half years I have been a manny. You read that correctly, a manny. That is a male nanny. I watched five children for a family in the afternoons, three to four days a week. It was easy, the kids were cool and the parents paid me well. Basically all I did was make sure the kids didn't kill each other or run away and I was successful. It was the best job in the world for a guy like me. Unfortunately, this semester I ended up having to schedule classes in the afternoons for the first time in a few years, thus creating an unresolvable conflict which led to me having to give up my job until the summer.

So with no source of income, and a great need to gain some income, I began looking for a job pretty seriously. Now it would be easy to blame my inability to find a job on the bad economy and all of the mumbo jumbo. Of course I am just guessing that the economy is bad because that is what people tell me and I don't care too much about that kind of thing in general. No one I know has lost their job or anything so to me the economy seems just fine. Also I'm in college so in general things that happen in the real world don't tend to affect me all that much. So don't worry economy, I won't be taking a cheap shot at you today. The reason that I haven't been able to find a job, I believe is a direct result of something I discovered while sifting my way through available jobs. The problem seems to be that I have no marketable skills.

This isn't some sympathy party because I don't think I'm good at anything. Quite the contrary, I probably think I'm better at a lot of things than I really am. In fact, I will list those things for you right now and hopefully you will see my problem. I'm good at, Rockband/Guitar Hero (expert guitarist on both). I'm good at identifying where I know random celebrities from (such as a previous role they have played). I'm good at beating youth group kids at various sporting events such as football, basketball, and dodgeball. I'm good at singing like a girl. I'm good at catching the ice cubs that fall out of my freezer in my cup before they hit the ground. I'm good at writing or telling stories in a way that they sound usually three to four times more interesting than they actually were without ever fudging the details. I'm good at texting very quickly. I'm good at looking good in a dress suit . . . Let's be honest, I'm just good at looking good in general (just kidding, settle down . . . kind of). Anyway, those are just some of the things I'm good at and if you will notice they all have one thing in common: No one in the history of the world will ever pay me for doing any of those things.

I am not easily discouraged though and my job hunt continues. In the meantime, if you know anyone who is searching for a professional Rockband guitarist, go ahead and give them my number.

Monday, February 8, 2010

One Night in Tokyo

I apologize for my long absence from blogging, and this isn't going to be your typical post. This is something I wrote for a website that I had to create for class, I hope you enjoy it.

Twenty years ago there was the biggest upset in the history of sports. Twenty years ago was the event that marked the beginning of the end. Twenty years ago there was the perfect storm. Twenty years ago, there was one night in Tokyo. That night was February 11, 1990.
Mike Tyson was a wrecking ball. A bulldozer. A hurricane of haymakers. Mike Tyson was an unstoppable force, the likes of which boxing had never seen, not even in the glory days of Liston and Ali and Frazier. Mike Tyson was the power of George Foreman and the speed of Sugar Ray Leonard, all rolled into one terrifying package. Buster Douglas wasn't.
Buster Douglas wasn't a bad fighter, but he wasn't what most people would call a champion either. Buster Douglas wasn't a boxer who would ever reach his potential. Buster Douglas wasn't mentally tough enough to be great. Buster Douglas wasn't supposed to last an entire round with Iron Mike. There was something else that Buster Douglas wasn't; Buster Douglas wasn't who people thought he was.
Mike Tyson and Buster Douglas were only brought together as a way for Tyson to tune up for a tentatively scheduled super fight with Evander Holyfield. Douglas appeared to be the perfect opponent. He was a talented fighter who had an impressive enough record to seem at least like somewhat of a legitimate match for the fight. However, Douglas was such an infamous underachiever that the bout generated little interested in America, which is why it took place in Tokyo, Japan. Tyson's handlers understood that Americans were just about sick of seeing Iron Mike score knockouts versus overwhelmed opponents before they even had a chance to get drunk. The rest of the world though, was still craving to see this legendary warrior in person. Still, stateside the fight was thought so little of that only one betting parlor in Las Vegas had even set odds for the fight so that gamblers could wager on it. Those odds were set at 42:1.
It is important, crucial even, to realize that at this time, Mike Tyson was literally seen as unbeatable. People were actually starting to believe that it was literally impossible for Tyson to lose . . . not just this fight against Buster Douglas, but any fight against anyone. Leading up to the fight, there were scientists and medical experts who analyzed why Mike Tyson could very well be physically incapable of being so much as knocked down by another fighter. This wasn't the guy we know today, who is most memorable for biting off someone's ear and getting a tattoo on his face. This was a guy who was well on his way to becoming one of the greatest fighters of all time. At least that is what people thought.
Behind the scenes, the foundation on which Tyson's great career was built had been slowly eroding out from under him. A few years before the fight with Douglas, Tyson's trainer and father figure, Cus D'Amato died. D'Amato had taught Tyson the bob'n'weave method that made him so successful. After D'Amato's death, Tyson's discipline in keeping with this style deteriorated and he became almost exclusively a head-hunter. Fortunately for Tyson, he was physically gifted enough that he was able to continue dominating his opponents. Eventually though, the erosion of his style and of his team which surrounded him would catch up to Tyson in a big way.
In Douglas's corner, Buster was dealing with some serious issues as well. About a month before the fight with Tyson, Buster Douglas lost his mother, whom he was extremely close with. For the first time in his life, Douglas focused his considerable ability and talents with a singular purpose; to honor his late mother in the upcoming fight. Douglas proceeded to train with the dedication and commitment that makes great fighters. Motivated by the memory of his mother, Buster Douglas became the boxer that those close to him always wished he would be.
With Tyson's personal issues secretly setting him up to unravel and Douglas's personal issues providing him with that champion's drive for the first time, the perfect storm was brewing for a remarkable upset that no one saw coming. Still, there was a battle that had to be waged. Douglas had a decided size and reach advantage on the smaller yet quicker Tyson and Buster used this to his advantage perfectly. The boxing display put on that night by Buster Douglas more closely resembled a piece of art than it did an athletic exhibition. Never has pugilism looked so much like poetry. The way Douglas boxed that night was so beautiful that it is almost moving. Buster Douglas gave Mike Tyson everything he could handle for the better part of eight rounds and then it happened. The head hunter found his mark, and with the power of Tyson it usually only took one. Douglas crumpled to the canvas, the victim of a vicious Tyson uppercut.
Everyone assumed, with Douglas's history of lacking anything that resembled heart, that even if Douglas got up the fight was going to be over anyway, it was just a matter of time. The idea that Douglas would even get up seemed highly unlikely, but as the referee's count got closer to ten, Buster climbed to his feet. After willing himself to remain upright for a few seconds, he was saved by the bell marking the end of the round. This allowed him the time he needed to recover, but still Tyson was expected to finish him easily in the next round. Buster Douglas had other plans. Having regained his legs, Douglas went right back to his game plan which had led him to dominate Tyson for all but one punch of the night. The ninth round was a back and forth affair, with each fighter looking as though they could collapse from the punishment at any time. Douglas and Tyson both survived that round, but the same could not be said for the tenth. Buster came out with a fury, executing his punches perfectly before finally administering a deadly accurate combination which sent Iron Mike incoherently sprawling to the canvas.
Tyson, so unaware of what had just happened to him, appeared to be looking for his mouthpiece as he crawled on hands on knees in the corner of the ring as the ten count ticked off the precious few seconds which remained in Mike Tyson's reign of terror over the heavyweight division. Considering the circumstances and all that was at stake, the undisputed heavyweight title, the Douglas upset goes down as one of the all time great fights in boxing history.
The shear physical force that was Mike Tyson, being toppled by the mastery with which Buster Douglas fought was simply breathtaking. It also marked the beginning of the end, not just for Mike Tyson, but for the heavyweight division as well. Tyson went on to have legal troubles, both inside and outside of the ring before finally floundering out in multiple ill-advised comeback attempts. Buster Douglas lost the title in his next fight, getting knocked out by Evander Holyfield. He retired after the fight before coming back in the late 90's for nine fights, eight of which he won. As for heavyweight boxing, it has seen two decades of mediocrity with plodding and frankly just boring fighters. Boxing's highest weight class may never see a fight the likes of Douglas vs Tyson ever again, but it will always have that one night in Tokyo.