Wednesday, March 11, 2009

a moment of silence

I would like to take a moment of silence . . . My oldest sister Amber, is officially a Texan.

Now if you know my family at all you may know that Amber abandoned me 11 and a half years ago to attend college in Texas. However all this time I believe we all considered her a displaced resident of Omaha who would someday return to the greatest city on earth. She backed up these sentiments with her constant and unwavering Omaha pride, and hatred of all things which are considered the culture of Texas (examples: shotguns, pickup trucks, cowboy hats, rodeos, a southern drawl).

All of this came crashing down this morning when I learned Amber had purchased a pair of cowboy boots. She had jokingly invited me to a rodeo the day before, but there was no way I could have seen this coming. With the acquisition of this information, all of my hopes and dreams that my oldest sister would return home were brutally murdered like so many victims in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies that I can only assume Amber now loves. The sister I grew up with is gone, all that is left is . . . Texas Amber.

I imagine this is kind of what it feels like when someone you know becomes a zombie. Obviously you still recognize and and love them, but now they are dangerous and not the person you knew before. Here is hoping that Will Smith can find a cure for being a zombie.

6 comments:

raj said...

Don't let her bite your dog.

Amber said...

eat my shorts, ken

Bahil said...

You've reached rock bottom when you put you're hopes in Will Smith...

aziner said...

if you don't blog more before you get here I may have to hold your new hat for ransom. just sayin'

aziner said...

your "triumphant return" of March 2009 has lost all of its luster since you only wrote 2 posts! perhaps it's time for another, by which I mean, the people demand more blogging!!

raj said...

Texas Amber didn't get you did she? Your blog hasn't heard from you in a long time, and it was getting worried.