Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Job Hunt

For the last two and a half years I have been a manny. You read that correctly, a manny. That is a male nanny. I watched five children for a family in the afternoons, three to four days a week. It was easy, the kids were cool and the parents paid me well. Basically all I did was make sure the kids didn't kill each other or run away and I was successful. It was the best job in the world for a guy like me. Unfortunately, this semester I ended up having to schedule classes in the afternoons for the first time in a few years, thus creating an unresolvable conflict which led to me having to give up my job until the summer.

So with no source of income, and a great need to gain some income, I began looking for a job pretty seriously. Now it would be easy to blame my inability to find a job on the bad economy and all of the mumbo jumbo. Of course I am just guessing that the economy is bad because that is what people tell me and I don't care too much about that kind of thing in general. No one I know has lost their job or anything so to me the economy seems just fine. Also I'm in college so in general things that happen in the real world don't tend to affect me all that much. So don't worry economy, I won't be taking a cheap shot at you today. The reason that I haven't been able to find a job, I believe is a direct result of something I discovered while sifting my way through available jobs. The problem seems to be that I have no marketable skills.

This isn't some sympathy party because I don't think I'm good at anything. Quite the contrary, I probably think I'm better at a lot of things than I really am. In fact, I will list those things for you right now and hopefully you will see my problem. I'm good at, Rockband/Guitar Hero (expert guitarist on both). I'm good at identifying where I know random celebrities from (such as a previous role they have played). I'm good at beating youth group kids at various sporting events such as football, basketball, and dodgeball. I'm good at singing like a girl. I'm good at catching the ice cubs that fall out of my freezer in my cup before they hit the ground. I'm good at writing or telling stories in a way that they sound usually three to four times more interesting than they actually were without ever fudging the details. I'm good at texting very quickly. I'm good at looking good in a dress suit . . . Let's be honest, I'm just good at looking good in general (just kidding, settle down . . . kind of). Anyway, those are just some of the things I'm good at and if you will notice they all have one thing in common: No one in the history of the world will ever pay me for doing any of those things.

I am not easily discouraged though and my job hunt continues. In the meantime, if you know anyone who is searching for a professional Rockband guitarist, go ahead and give them my number.

4 comments:

raj said...

Clearly the correlation between college and marketable skills is not as direct or strong as admissions personnel would have you believe.

Anonymous said...

i think that you do a great job lookin good in a suit so lets figure out a way to reword that to look better on a resume lol

Stina Sander said...

You are also good at making people laugh! Oh and don't forget you work often at the snow buffet...pretty marketable!

Bahil said...

The answer here seems pretty obvious...best damn good looking stenographer the legal world has ever seen...