Age Before Beauty

Omaha, NE

As NFL teams waged war against each other at locations scattered across the country, a much more important battle was fought on the fields outside Stonebridge Christian Church. As the chilly Omaha afternoon turned to evening, the youth group sponsors faced off against the youth group students in an epic . . . a legendary . . . a historic game of tackle football. This game was not played for playoff positioning or home field advantage, but rather for bragging rights, and that was plenty.

Unlike traditional football contests which have standardized numbers of players on each team, the students literally outnumbered the sponsors throughout the entire encounter. Fighting against extra players and younger legs, the sponsors fell in an early two touchdown hole against the students. The students received the ball first and quickly marched down the field for their first score and had their second score set up by a pass that slipped through defensive specialist (forced into action on offense due to the students numerical advantage) Andrew "Big Z" Zetterman's hands which resulted in an interception.

Down by two touchdowns, the sponsors showed their experience and poise, quickly responding with a scoring drive, capped off with a classic option play. Quarterback "Rumbling" Ravi Lulla forced his way into the end zone, barreling over anyone that stood in his way. The sponsor's defense, led in the first half by Big Z, came up with a huge stop before the tandem of Alex "Heisman" Hall and Josh "White Lightning" Laughlin (which is ironic due to his thundering running style) took over on the next scoring drive to tie the game up.

The game then became a shootout between two powerful offenses. The students used their speed to strike against the stronger sponsors. The sponsors responded by breaking tackle after tackle, reminiscent of Tommie Frazier trucking through the Florida Gators defense, on their way to the end zone. After trading leads for much of the first half, the power of Laughlin and Lulla (collectively known simply as Chocolate Thunder) and the Quarterbacking of Heisman Hall and Lulla became too much for the students after intermission.

With the game tied at seven touchdowns a piece, the sponsors ratcheted up the defense with help from late addition and defensive anchor, Nick "Ndamuhkong Suh" Brown, and scored four straight touchdowns on offense to take a commanding lead. At this point the sponsors started making history. Roger "The Lone" Wulff came in at quarterback and found Bob "Speedy" Swanson on a 40 yard touchdown bomb to form the oldest scoring connection in the history of mankind, coming in at a combined age of approximately 94 (exact records were not kept at the time of their births).

The sponsors finished the remainder of the game with a comfortable four to five touchdown lead, proving once and for all their physical dominance and overall superiority over the students of the youth group.