That's My Jam!

How much better would life be if it were accompanied by everyone's own personal movie-style soundtrack? First of all you would have the pure entertainment value of always having something to rock out to, but also life would be about a thousand times easier to navigate through. Just think about it, you meet someone for the first time and think they are normal enough to perhaps have a friendship with until you realize they have some bizarre European techno blasting on their soundtrack. Now you know its best to walk away now rather than have to awkwardly decline an invitation to participate in recreational drug use later. Ladies, you find yourself on a first date with a guy you don't know all that well. Your male companion has opened doors for you, pulled out your chair and by all measures been a perfect gentleman that you think you would like to go out with again. Wait a second, is that Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground on his soundtrack right now? Check please! Life soundtracks could even help cut down on hate crimes. Say you are a person of color like myself, if you hear country music of any kind just turn your naturally tanned self around and you have steered clear of trouble and a possible race war with some hillbillies. Are you concerned that a member of your basketball team might be gay? Just tune in to his pregame life soundtrack and if he's listening to Josh Groban instead of Jay-Z, then you might want to reconsider the community showers idea.

The practical applications of life soundtracks are virtually endless. How much more romantic would your proposal have been if you had Sinatra quietly crooning in the background? Having a bad day and want everyone to leave you alone? If people could hear Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit playing in your head then they would know better than to ask you stupid questions today. There has to be some sort of technology to play whatever song we have in our head out loud and in real time, and if there's not then people need to start working on it rather than trying to figure out how to create a colony on the moon. Life soundtracks would be beneficial to everyone, let's make this happen. Someone call NASA.