So I was thinking the other day, there aren't enough good conspiracy theories going around. Now there are plenty of conspiracy theories, but most of them suck and don't make any sense. For example, there is a rumor that Heath Ledger isn't really dead, and that his death was faked to spike the hype surrounding the Dark Knight, and that he will make a miraculous return as the Joker in the next film. As much as I would love this to be true, it's stupid and doesn't make sense, thus it is not a good conspiracy theory.
I however have an amazing conspriacy theory. The New England Patriots were mandated by Roger Godell, commissioner of the NFL, to throw the Super Bowl, thus ruining their perfect season. Now you are going to have the knee-jerk reaction that I'm a bitter Pats fan, that is incorrect. I do love the Red Sox, but I'm not Bill Simmons and I have been able to think logically about football since the Patriots Super Bowl loss.
Anyway onto the finer points of my theory. First of all, if watching SportsCenter has taught me anything, its that Spygate was a really big deal. But does anyone feel like the Patriots were really punished as if it was a really big deal? Their coach who makes millions a year got fined several hundred thousand dollars, whoopty. Secondly, they lost their first round draft pick, which would have been the last pick of the round, however they had a pick in the first round anyway due to a trade they had completed. So the removing of the first round pick lost a lot of its sting. So other than some bad publicity and most of the free world outside of New England now hating them, the Patriots got off pretty easy.
With that in mind, let's review what we know about the NFL commisioner, Roger Godell. He does not take it easy on people. Pacman Jones? Banned for an entire season without a real conviction if I remember correctly. Tank Johnson? Banned for games for possessing guns. How many guys in the NFL have guns that are not registered to them? Sounds like a message being sent. Chris Henry? I don't even remember what he's done, I'm pretty sure it has to do with smoking a lot of dope, but either way, he's been suspended a lot by the Commish. Godell obviously doesn't play around.
So we have pretty solid evidence that the NFL's only real dynasty right now has been cheating, and we have a commisioner who likes to bring down the thunder on anyone who makes his league look bad, and you think this all went away for a few bucks and a meaningless draft pick? I doubt this very highly.
This is what happened, if Godell has to go back and strip a Super Bowl title from someone, the entire integrity of his league is compromised, so he wasn't about to do that, but Godell, along with anyone who knew anything about football realized that the Patriots were not a team that was going to be beat. So Godell ordered them to lose. How do I know that the Patriots didn't lose on their own? It wasn't the fact that the most dominant team in football history lost, its how they lost. For the first time ever, they looked unprepared. When has a Patriots team coached by Bill Belichick ever looked unprepared? If you are looking for some game film then stop, the answer is never. You think before the game that would send him flying to immortality that Bill Belichick of all people showed up unprepared? And you think I'm crazy.
Here's the bottom line, the Patriots were ordered to lose the game or be stripped of their other three Super Bowls. Godell, knowing his audience, realized that people would feel much better if ''karma'' kept the Patriots from going undefeated than if they finished 19-0 and were stripped of their other championships. That's just how America works.
Think about it for a while . . . It makes sense.
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5 comments:
I've suspected for a long time that many of the outcomes for all professional sports are about as real as wwf, or whatever it's called now. I'm sure you would probably debate this, but I think there's at least a case.
That said, isn't it possible that the reason the Pats looked unprepared was their newfound inability to spy on the other team? I would think that would hamper one's preparation strategy.
Ooooh, either that, or maybe the commish let the giants spy on the pats to officially reign karma down on them.
Sounds like a good conspiracy theory to me. It was very karmically satisfying to see the Patriots lose the Super Bowl, probably enough that most people are willing to not press the spying issue. I, for one, have always thought it suspicious that the Patriots barely got a slap on the wrist for all of that.
Now, how does the fact that Goodell destroyed all of the evidence gathered in that investigation play in your conspiracy theory?
The Patriots were caught cheating in week 1, meaning they looked prepared for 17 weeks, winning 17 more games without the aid for spying on the other team. I consider this sufficient evidence to disprove that they couldn't win without cheating.
Fair enough. I do still think it's possible that Goodell let the Giants spy on the Pats, though. Seriously, even when watching the game, I thought it seemed like the Giants weren't surprised by anything that was thrown at them.
thats very possible, it would fit into my theory of Godell rigging things to make the situation ''karmatically'' correct.
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